Faith often grows quietly through moments we do not fully understand at the time. Sometimes it begins in childhood memories, unexpected encounters, questions, struggles, or years spent searching for meaning. In this week’s bulletin article, Zach Jones and Ryan Grubbs share personal testimonies about their journeys toward faith and the Catholic Church.
I didn’t really have a clear plan for my story at first—I just kind of woke up one day wanting to improve my life. Thinking back, I remembered small moments, like being taken to Mass (with David Gale, Amy and Todd’s son), that stuck with me more than I realized. Those experiences helped spark something in me and made everything start to click.
When it came to choosing St. John and the Catholic Church, it wasn’t about putting down other churches, but about what felt more meaningful to me. I found a stronger sense of God’s presence, especially through the Eucharist and the teachings from Scripture at Mass. Overall, it felt like the place where my faith could grow in a more real and grounded way.
My family was never a very religious one; I can count on one hand the number of times my parents took me to church as a child, and I seem to recall it being a different one each time. God was rarely mentioned in our household, although my parents behaved as though His existence was a given.
Without any guidance, I found myself spiritually aimless as a child, and my imagination often tried to fill in the blanks of what felt like a sterile and wonderless world. I browsed the alien beliefs of pagan religions from the orient, trying to fill the spiritual void wrought from living in a secular culture. I found some useful practices—meditation, temperance, diligence—but it all felt hollow. Even more, it still felt alien.
Its practices were useful in some regards, but I always saw its myths and perspectives about reality as fiction and couldn’t understand why so many people believed in them. I figured they must not truly believe the mythological aspects of their religions, but eventually that notion was dispelled and I came to wonder why Christianity never seemed like fiction in the same manner.
Becoming secular once again, the spiritual void returned until I entered high school. I went with one of my close friends to his church’s youth group, primarily for the social aspect, and gradually I became curious. His father gave me a Bible as a gift, and I initially intended to read it in an academic manner to better understand its influence on culture.
I read Genesis and Exodus and was shocked to find that contained within was a poetic retelling of creation as modern science understands it. This wasn’t like the pagan faiths arguing the world came from an egg or dead body; it was cosmogeny contemporary with modern science written in a way anyone could grasp, even from thousands of years ago.
At this point I was a contemporary Christian, nominally faithful but not truly religious. I would not begin to deepen my faith until later, as I reflected upon my past experiences with pagan faiths, the secular culture, and eventually more grim truths I observed during my military service.
I saw in those days that, regardless of prior doubt, horrors exist in humanity, unexplainable by any other means than demons. As my study of the history of Christendom deepened, I became more traditional in my beliefs.
Until recently I considered myself a Lutheran, as I believed the Catholic Church had been scandalized by historically unpopular ventures and practices such as the selling of indulgences, but I now believe that the Church, flawed as it may be, is strongest together.
I have never been blessed with a sense of theophany, of feeling the presence of God in a physical sense, but I consider myself deeply fortunate for being inspired to come to the Lord without experiencing such a miracle.
“Blessed are they that have not seen, and have believed.”
— Ryan Grubbs
Every faith journey is different. These testimonies remind us that God often works through memories, questions, searching, suffering, and quiet moments of grace. May these stories encourage others wherever they are on their own path of faith.