RECONCILIATION – A REFRESHER

Our students preparing to celebrate their First Reconciliations have been learning about the sacrament, what it is, and how to do it.  Keep them in your prayers as they open their hearts to Jesus in this way.  For the rest of us, with Advent just around the corner, this seems like a great time to review some of the basics and maybe even explore a little more because whether you go to Confession once a week, once a month, or haven’t been in years, we can always dive deeper into the mysteries of our faith.

First, what’s in a name?  The sacrament of forgiveness has gone by different names at different times in the Church, generally called by where the focus of the sacrament is being placed at that time, and all of them are still fine to use today.  When I was a kid and preparing to receive this gift for the first time, it was called “Penance”.  The work performed by the penitent to complete the absolution was the point being stressed.  It’s also largely been called “Confession” as the very act of admitting our sins aloud is so fundamental to receiving the grace of this sacrament.  Today it’s mostly known as “Reconciliation” and that is, in my opinion, the most fitting name because it describes the goal of the sacrament, to be rejoined with God, beautifully.  The word itself has deep meaning if we look at it a little more closely.  As so many words in both the Church and the English language, it has Latin roots.  “Re” means to do again, as in to repeat; “Con” is simply “with” (think chili con carne: chili WITH meat); and the core of the word, “Cilia,” literally means “eyelashes.”  So, in looking at the word, “Reconciliation,” we understand that it means to be again eye-with-eye and that is exactly what God invites us to in the sacrament: to meet Him again, eyelash to eyelash.  How close must you be to someone to have your eyelashes touching theirs?  That’s where God invites us to be.  

This “meeting again” is so important to our spiritual health and growth that the sacrament is one of the precepts of the Church; the Catechism of the Catholic Church (#2042) says that we, “shall confess [your] sins at least once a year.”  The precepts are the minimum requirements to live a life in relationship with God.  How long has it been since you looked your most cherished loved one – whether that’s a spouse, a best friend, your child, or someone else – in the eye?  Hopefully not more than a year.  God wants that kind of relationship with you, too; He desires to look into our eyes.

A question we get asked often is why do we need to go to a priest, can’t I just tell God my sins and be forgiven?  The answer to this is multi-faceted and much longer than the space we have here, so we’ll keep it to the basics.  Of course you can tell God your sins and be forgiven!  Please do!  This should be part of our daily prayer.  However, Jesus gives the power of forgiving sin to the Apostles (John 20:21-23), so He expects that they will have the opportunity to forgive sins, which means someone must confess to them!  One way to think of this need to confess is like going to the dentist.  We brush our teeth every day to help them be healthy, but a couple of times a year we go to a dentist for a deep cleaning, to dig deep and get the stuff we can’t on our own, and to polish our teeth to help protect them against build-up.  This is like Reconciliation.  Make a daily prayer of Confession, but at least once a year (remember CCC 2042) go to a priest for a deep cleaning of the soul and to receive the graces of the sacrament that help protect against future sin.  Lastly, we are both spiritual and physical beings.  There is a real connection between our bodies and our souls.  God has given each sacrament physical components so that we can know and experience tangibly what is happening invisibly in our heart.  In Reconciliation, we say aloud where we have failed and then we hear aloud that we are forgiven.  This is powerful stuff.  It’s one thing to pray for forgiveness on my own and believe that God forgives me, but it’s something else entirely to feel the hand of the priest, in the place of Christ, over my head and hear him say that I’m forgiven.  

Final thoughts: if you haven’t been to Confession-Reconciliation-Penance in a while, that’s okay!  I was away from the Church for around 15 years myself, but like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), we have a Father that is waiting and watching for us to come home.  He has a heart filled with love and joy when we return, not one of anger or punishment.  Come home, let Him embrace you, and get a nice deep cleaning in your soul.  The Father welcomed me home with a feast and new sandals and He wants to welcome you home, too!