Walking With “the Ones” This Season!

November starts with a big bang when it comes to Liturgical Feast Days, and these two days focus our minds on praying for others. We began November 1st with the Feast of All Saints, praying in thanksgiving for their marvelous examples and asking that we, too, through the grace of God, may one day join their heavenly ranks. On November 2nd, our prayers turned toward All Souls, lifting intercession for those who have died, that they may soon complete their purgation, joining the Lord’s banquet table in the heavenly Kingdom.

And speaking of banquet tables, November brings its own “earthly banquet” as later this month we will feast, perhaps, at the home of loved ones or host them at our own home on Thanksgiving Day. For many of us this is a joyous occasion, a time to gather and catch up as we look forward to a particular dish that is a seasonal favorite (mine was always my mom’s stuffing), some parades, and football rivalries (Go, Lions!).

But sometimes, as we enter into November and December, the thought of holiday gatherings can bring a mix of emotions as we think about interactions with certain relatives and friends: excitement overall, yes, but sometimes tainted with a bit of apprehension, longing, or possibly even dread. Rather than let those spirits creep into our next few weeks, though, as we think about various family members and how their beliefs may differ from ours, etc., the opening days of November serve as a reminder of what we can do about it: Pray.

This past summer one of the sessions that I attended at the Encounter Conference in Grand Rapids was presented by Eric Wombwell, the Director of the Kansas City Encounter School of Ministry and much of what follows is a summary of his session. (A quick side note: as Encounter grows, there are satellite campuses nationwide…and internationally!! We are blessed to have the home campus right here in Brighton, MI!) Anyway, I was intrigued by the title of Eric’s presentation: “Ministering to Extended Family.” I, like so many of you who have shared likewise, have family members who have left the Church, who don’t really know the Lord, or who even have doubt about God’s existence. And we ache for their return and feel the desire to share our faith…but how? Eric began with comforting words of encouragement: “Your family is perfectly positioned for you to minister to them!” In other words, “There are gifts on your life to minister to your particular family.”

He pointed out that the word “minister” comes from Latin, meaning “servant.” And when we minister to (serve well) our family, they will be evangelized…but it will feel different than “being evangelized.” And to get us started in the direction of “serving well,” the first thing we need to do is pray prior to the gathering, asking Jesus what our family needs. This could be in the form of asking the Lord for a prophetic word (something the Lord reveals for you to mention or suggest that is relevant to them) for a particular family member, either one that you end up sharing or one that guides you in your interactions with that loved one. Or, you could ask, “Holy Spirit, who should I talk to?” Partner with the Lord and how He is moving and where He has been tilling the soil, or where he wants you to plant a seed.

You can pray before (or after) the gathering, “Lord, is there anyone I need to forgive?” Sometimes mending the hurt that’s stood between you and another is the very thing that will help them see the Lord in you, and you in them. You can pray in thanksgiving for your family members…all of them…for in thanksgiving our heart aligns with the Lord’s, and when that happens, we operate and interact on a different level.

Besides praying in the days before the gathering, Eric had other useful tips. One is mindset. It cannot be one of “I’m going to evangelize you, family!” Or, “I want to prove to you that….” But, rather, “I’m going to love you, family.” Our role is to love. The Holy Spirit’s role is to convict hearts. And one of God’s roles is to judge…but it’s not our role. In love, we show people Jesus. And if my only goal is loving them, that is freeing! (Good-bye anxiety and apprehension!)

Another tip is to have answers ready for “How are you?” and “What have you been up to?” They don’t have to be long and drawn-out, but they should show “a reason for your joy.” Most conversations end with the usual “Good…and you?” Polite formality. Share some of yourself…and don’t be afraid to share what Jesus is doing in your life, if the Spirit prompts you to do so or gives you an open door to bring it up. Ask them questions, too; it opens them up and gets you into conversation. Be ready to “Rejoice with those who rejoice,weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)

There are many ways to share Jesus with others without going into preaching mode. Being a listening ear is a great one!

Finally, let go of expectations. Expect nothing in return. Simply bring the Kingdom with joy, with love. And leave the rest to God.

+++Jesus, you have positioned me in this place and time with my family members. Help me to shine your light and love to them. Show me how and when, open opportunities, and help me just to rely on your promptings. Hold my tongue when it needs holding and prompt me into action when it’s time. Thank you, Jesus, for everyone you have placed in my life, thank you for the gift of faith, and thank you that you entrust me with the privilege of sharing you with others! Amen.+++

Praying as we walk with “the ones!”

Shayne